Relapse can happen at any time. It can be triggered by something, anything or nothing at all. In this case, it was the nothing that pushed me down the hill. It was the nothing that made me tired, and wake up feeling as if a large boulder is sat on my chest, making me unable to move. Yet it was life that kept pushing me down the hill, when I usually would have slowed to a halt.
Relapse, in my case, is made worse by the difference between the high and the low. When you go from a high, the purest high you believed you’d felt, to a low, which involves questioning your experiences, belief and self worth, it feels difficult to manage. Impossible even.
So what do I do?
I cry, a lot. Because crying is healthy.
I distract myself. I watch trashy TV, I start projects that I know I’ll never finish (crochet is my newest one), and I bake.
I try to sleep so I don’t have to think.
And finally… I decide to kickstart this blog again before a period of change, adventure and excitement begins for me.
I hope I can continue my efforts, as I have some travels planned and I do hope that using this blog again can help me during my recovery.